"I'm planning on ripping the whole cave down... like so"
So it's happened, I've hacked into Ben and Krissy's Blog. This hacking is with one goal, reveal the Truth (note the capital "T", this shit's serious).
So, may you think you know Ben and Krissy. They may appear like mild mannered polite Canadians, wildly supportive of each others climbing, and elite level super athletes... but there's more! Join us on the expose of truth behind their secret lives and explore Ben and Krissy, and they're life of Sex, Drugs and Rock (No "n'Roll" included).
How did I come by this illicit information, I've got a source on the inside that dare not be named. Here we go;
Ultra Secret Classified Ben Facts (some of these facts, Ben doesn't even know to be true):
-My inside source says that Ben is often indecisive at grocery store, not only failing decide on the specific brand he would like purchased, but often waffling on the very products he desires to consume.
-Has a horrible addiction and dependancy problems, you'll see him and he'll appear to be level headed and sober, but secretly he'll often consume as much as half a liter of Peanut Butter or Nutella at a time, and he will secretly be running a sugar high of epic proportions, these benders will often run for months at a time.
Beware children... this is what too much Nutella will do to you
-May not in fact be the sex symbol he is often believed to be. Reports indicate he will in fact often flirt with geekdom.
-Here's some hot gossip about his sexual prowess. After his first date to Krissy...and I quote directly from my inside source, "he sent me an e-mail that said 'I apologize for my inadequacies in dealing with women', and I was like whatever, you've got hot abs"
-Secretly a hair fashionista, with very particular desires for his style. Recently he wanted "The Nalle Hukkatiavial" (kind of like a sexy bowl cut with bangs) and was upset when his hair dresser instead gave him "The Tommy Caldwell" (kind of like a greasy cow lick)
-Known cat torturer. Has been observed using his kitty cat like a mop to help clean up the house.
How do you climb double digits with ease? Don't be afraid of the über-spot. We count this as a legit send in the maritimes?!... well, at least some do.
But there's more to this dynamic duo... the other half! Not only is Krissy a powerhouse of rock climbing authority, but has been known to make grown men cry.
Ultra Secret Classifed Krissy Facts (Again, some of these facts, Krissy doesn't even know to be true, that's how insider they are):
-Growing up on the rough and tumble streets of Minto, NB, she was in her younger years the leader of a gang of hoodlums called "Hell's Kittens"
"Don't even think of messing with the Hell Kittens!... I mean, where's my damn coffee"
-Has a horrible addiction and dependancy problems, you'll see her and she'll appear to be level headed and sober, but secretly she'll often consume as much as two to five hours of bad TV series, and will secretly be running on a TV induced comatose of epic proportions for months at a time.
-Very Intolerant. She may seem to be very accepting of all, but she is in fact a Mysophobe (too the common man, known as a germaphobe). Her prejudice of bacteria runs deep through her soul.
Deciphering intricate Beta together... "I can't find any holds... That huge hold? you think so? Cuss that! Are you sandbaggin' me again? You're sandbaggin' me again! "
-Kitty Cat Enthusiasts. Youtube's cute kitty cat videos have never had so many views.
-Holds together the Nova Scotia climbing community with Sushi nights of delicious proportions.
Well that's it... that's all the dirt I got. They don't drink, they don't even beat up small children. They climb hard, live healthy, now and again eat some sweets, and climb for the sheer love of the sport. They're motivation comes from an within, lacks competitiveness, and spills onto others. They don't boast, they don't even talk trash, they even seem to take a moderate stance on most of the garbage people spew and argue about. They support each other with caring and love.... and blah blah blah! That and they even kinda smell nice. This expose has been a bust!!! Come on guys, you're killing me!
Ok, calm down... Maybe that's the secret I can reveal, they're just kinda better at everything then you, so you can't help be jealous... yeah! That and they're boring...
Roger's Blog:
http://sponsormeow.wordpress.com/
Roger's Blog:
http://sponsormeow.wordpress.com/
